LOOKS LIKE A GO! - Entry 4

Well, I haven't been writing anything because it was changing too quickly to feel like I could put it down on record. But I do believe, just 7 days before I am supposed to board the plane to Mexico City, a final decision was made.

1 Corinthians 15:57
But thanks be to God, who gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ.

2 Corinthians 2:14
But thanks be to God, who always leads us in triumph in Christ, and manifests through us the sweet aroma of the knowledge of Him in every place.

It is my prayer that the sweet aroma of the knowledge of HIM will be in every place; please pray with me.

So this is now the deal, though getting here was a really crazy story, that reminded me of, I believe, the third or fourth year with the migrants and my very first trip to Mexico! Decisions and I, don't often go well together. There are few times in life where it was just, "I know this is what I'm supposed to do" and I go after it. Bible college was one of those, thank the Lord! That is RARE for me. I remember agonizing about whether or not I should go back out to the camps in one of those very first years because I did not have a parter to go with me into the camps. The camps could be very dangerous places back then occasional stabbings, guns, drug deals in front of me; not to mention that I was a young single white girl in the midst of an isolated camp, normally with no other whites as I was not part of a group. One of the fathers of the children I taught would regularly ask me, "do your parents know you are out here? I would never let my daughters do what you are doing - out at night alone - with all these men!" There are always far more single guys then families, still, but now the camps are "exposed" to all the gringos! So I was struggling and asking the Lord and just couldn't seem to find that all illusive "peace" for the decision and had decided I would probably not go. Especially after I found out there would be a church group going in, I thought, "they don't need me this year." So I went out at the beginning of the season to see the children and let them know I probably would not be returning. Most had not arrived yet, but little Carolina was there. I can still see her face. I haven't seen her in probably 15 years now, but I remember how the Lord used her. We said hello and talked a little. Then I asked her if she could do me a big favor. I explained that one of the church groups that had gone out last Summer would be returning for this Summer and that I did not think I would be coming to do the Bible lessons anymore. Carolina became defiant and as a strongly as a little girl could, she said, "NO Miss! (that's what they called me) You have to come - the others give us things and we play, BUT you tell us about GOD. We need to hear about God!!!" [paraphrasing after all these years, but pretty close, I'm sure] I almost started crying. That had always been the one concern about not returning. Groups that had started to come in had focused a great deal on the methods and fun, but very little on actual Bible lessons. I felt the children were bored by my long lessons and much less of the stuff and fun, though we certainly did play and have a good time. My focus was on the Word of God and I really thought they would rather the other. That struggle and her words taught me something that I did not forget for years to come. There is nothing wrong with all the fun methods, but if there is no meat there is emptiness that even the children will notice! And, that knowing what the Lord wants is not always easy for me, but He lets me know when it is necessary to know. Of course, I did go out that Summer and it was FANTASTIC. No regrets!!! The story about the first time going to Mexico is even longer and I've gotten way off track so back to the point :).

What is happening with THIS trip to Mexico? So glad you asked :). In my mind it has been off and on more times than I can count! I don't like to do things ALONE! It is not who I am and God created me that way for some reason. Plus, I believe doing things in teams is always better, not always possible, but better when possible. Lack of communication on all parts had made me think that I was going and would be a HUGE inconvenience to everyone and would be tolerated at best! It really gets me excited about traveling to another country where everyone is warning me of the kidnappings and recent beheadings with articles on-line, etc...!!!! So I was contacting missionaries in Mexico, blah, blah, blah, and the more research and questions I asked the more alone and confused I felt about the whole thing. Monday, I thought I just have to make some decision and be done with this ridiculous struggle. Why'd it have to be so difficult!? I was not going to go! So I wrote my contact, Jonathan, in Mexico and said, I'm so sorry, just don't think it's going to work. Tuesday morning I felt so sad! I knew I'd be going to Salvation Army and I'd have to tell Captain Thornhill about my decision after all the time and effort she had put into helping me. And then I'd have to tell all the people who had been praying for me. But I just didn't like the idea of going alone where I'd only be a nuisance. There were a list of legitimate concerns - allergies, safety, finances, failure, language, culture, travel . . . but most of all just not sensing anything from the Lord. He seemed to be clear in the beginning about me going and then NOTHING! The sermon this past Sunday before the decision Monday was super and had great principles but could have been a defense for going or for staying. I took it as a message to stay because of the team thing.

So off to Salvation Army with Gramma, Tuesday morning to tell the Captain. I had it all planned, but ,well - I couldn't do it. I started talking to her and explaining that I did not want to be a bother and felt uncertain that the people at the Children's Home in Mexico would really benefit from my visit and perhaps were not so happy about the fact that I was coming. Immediately, before I could go further she started saying, "NO, NO, NO" and went on to explain that some of the ladies in the US hierarchy were very excited and were anticipating the photos and news when I returned . . ." That was a shock to me! She said there had not been the contact made that we thought was, but that it was like a red tape issue not a lack of excitement. She said she would call me and leave a number and more information on my answering machine. So I'm thinking, "I just can't tell her now, I'll wait and call her." But since I had walked in the door to Salvation Army, many of my precious family of prayer warriors had been saying, "I've been praying for you, when are you leaving?" For those who don't know, Gramma and I go every Tuesday to the Golden Girls meetings. The age is supposed to be 50 and over. I'm not QUITE there yet. But for Gramma's sake they have been allowing me the tremendous blessing of being part of their family for over 4 years now! They have been more support and a source of wisdom to me than they could ever know! I just love them to pieces.

So, I thought I'd ask Ms. Florie, our president, if the group [normally anywhere from about 40-70 women I'd say] would pray for me. Now let me tell you, I was specific in asking her what I wanted them to pray about - that they would pray for the Lord's guidance concerning this trip, that I had been very unsure about what I was to do. I knew that I wanted help in knowing if I should actually go or not. BUT that was NOT what she heard! She called up Ms. Stewart [that's who I was hoping she'd ask] to come and pray for me - but she said for travel safety and for me not to be worried about going. I kept trying to get a word in to correct her. "No, miss Florie, not that, for guidance concerning the decision." I kept thinking and waiting to be able to say that, but then Ms. Stewart starting singing. You "ain't" heard singing with an annointing until you've heard this tiny - that's her nickname too- woman's powerful prayers in song. I felt a release! She was singing, "God will take care of you" and all the women joined in with her. It was beyond words. She and Rev. Emily Shelton and Ms. Florie had their hands on me and I felt all the others hands and hearts as they sang the words of that song. Then the prayer. "Lord, we know she is not alone, you are going with her . . . ." and on and on about the Lord going with me as I travel and Him being with me wherever I was and how I was not going to be ALONE! Now I believe in being on a team, but let me say that a team of these ladies supporting me with their prayers is better than 20 individuals who will physically go with me without prayer!!!!! They are my team, my support and the best I could hope for as I make this journey. And I'm hoping that many of you will be joining them in prayer. I feel so blessed and grateful to know so many who would take the time to ask help of our Father on my behalf. Thank you, dear Lord Jesus, for your gifts and calling. So that was it!!!! I walked out of there believing, knowing, and feeling very differently than when I went in that meeting.

But now what about Jonathan, who I had just e-mailed the day before and told that I would NOT be going. Well, besides the fact that he certainly thinks I am certifiably insane :), he handled the new information pretty well. He had not made new plans yet, and he would still be willing to help, though I would not have blamed him if he decided he had had enough! He had already called the Major Vera in MX and was not thrilled about calling him back saying, remember that lady I told you was coming to help you on Sunday, well she's not now - or the Elder David Ejildario from the Zapotec church in the city who he had been making plans for me to spend time with them? Now he did not have to take back those plans. He just had to deal with an indecisive American. He seems to be OK with that now, I hope :).

So, Tuesday afternoon, when Gramma and I returned there was a message on the machine just as Captain Thornhill had said. She said they'd tried to contact Major Vera themselves but no one spoke Spanish. She said I could come there to their office in N Chas. and use their phone to make contact with the Major myself on their dime. Hallelujah!!! So Wednesday, I was able to talk to him and he was so nice. He was really laid back and spoke slowly and loudly as I had asked. We were able to sort out many of my questions, concerns - not all - as most of you may know I NEVER run out of questions :0. But we did cover several things and most of all just being able to talk to him and know that he was really fine with me going to the Children's Home and said I could teach, sing, play with the children whatever would be fine. OK so now how great is that for someone like me!!!??!!! So I'm super excited about that part. I'd like to bring twenty suitcases just with teaching supplies, dry markers, board, magnetic board, pocket chart, flash cards, verse games, etc. . . . but that just won't be possible! But God will work all of that out.

So now if you are still with me? Here are some PRAYER REQUESTS!

1] I am sick!!!! I've been fighting this virus [now looking like a bacterial problem] for over three weeks! Thank the Lord, it has not kept me down or in bed even one day. But it is NOT good to be getting on a plane with this in my body. Please pray for complete health and healing including my allergy issues while there in Mexico. When having allergy issues, I get brain fog which really affects my ability to think - Speak Spanish!

2] TRAVEL SAFETY while in Mexico City.

3] Wisdom and creativity for preparing little devotionals for the children, and whatever else I'm able to do.

4] Finances

5] Jack while he is here by himself for the Lord to help his heart and bless him abundantly.

6] Language and Culture Issues - I speak Spanish, but like a little uneducated kid and when allergies or exhaustion sets in - forget about it!

7] Last but MOST IMPORTANT - That I will be a surrendered, obedient, faithful servant who He will be able to use in some way while I'm there.

THANKS FRIENDS - YOU'RE PRAYERS MEAN MORE THAN YOU KNOW